I’m addicted to diphenhydramine.
Diphenhydramine is a first generation antihistamine that is mainly found in allergy medication but it is also used for motion sickness, the common cold, nausea, insomnia and tremors from Parkinsonism. It is found in over the counter sleeping pills because diphenhydramine has a side effect of causing drowsiness.
Before this, I honestly never thought you could get addicted to an antihistamine. If taken properly with the correct dose for a limited time you mostly won’t. When you abuse it by taking it in large doses it will give you a high before it puts you to sleep. The best way I can describe it is like being high and drunk at the same time.
I would take my pills ( which was 300mg – 500mg ) usually it took about an hour to become effective. When it did start to work I would just float, it was like I was floating on a cloud. My mind would be completely empty and my body would be feeling warm and fuzzy. Sometimes I would take a shower or bath because of the way it made water feel running on me.
The warm and fuzzy feeling stopped when I started taking 500mg – 1000mg in pills a day. The warmth I felt turned into a searing burning in my chest, like my internal organs for being liquefied with lava. My heart would beat so fast, there would be shooting pains running through me. There were times when I thought I was having a heart attack. The pain would be so bad I wanted to go to the hospital but I would always stop myself. I didn’t want anyone to know I was taking so many pills, it was my dirty shameful little secret. The risks I took just because I felt so much shame in what I was doing, what people what say, how they would look at me if they knew. It didn’t stop me though I still did it, even if I knew the pain it would cause me.
That’s the nature of addiction I guess, you do it even though you know that the consequences will be horrifying.